HE wonderful discoveries that have been made of varions mystical secret societies, contrived to in fluence imperceptibly the minds of those unconnected with them, as well as the initiated, to the ambitious purposes of their leaders; have greatly opened the eyes of the world to their artifices. But though Professor Robinson has let us into the secret of the Freemasons, without submitting us to the painful operation usual on the occasion; though he has unveiled the dark practices of the Illuminati, and forced the Inquisitors of Westphalia to confess, yet much still remains to be done before we can entirely be freed from those evil genii, who delight in such dark conglomerations of the evil-minded and the weak: those genii who are well described by the poet and philosopher, Doctor D. in these words: Gins black and huge, who in Dom Daniel's den, Contrive dire mischiefs for the sons of men. The powerful arm of the professor, in eradicating those poisonous npases, has in the operation shaken from their noisome tops some destructive seeds, which have taken root and flourished, making good the old proverb, that "Il Weeds thrive apace;" and I have even reason to think, that at this moment there are many of their volcanic capsules al The paper composed by the writer of the Emphysalgia, appeared in same manner once before in print, but has been revised and enlarged by its author, for the Eelfast Monthly Magazine, who desires its insertion here for the same reason. ready pregnant with mischief, wherein embryo evils are fast ripening for the birth. Those, however, for the present shall be passed over to come to the relation of a fact, the disclosure of which is the principal purpose of this paper. Who could have thought that a dark and secret society should have existed in this united kingdom, inte which the piercing sight of the owleyed professor has not penetrated, and that while he so clearly discerned the transactions, and read without spectacles the cavern-covered and cyphered writings of the gloomy associations, so many hundreds of miles distant in Germany, that this should have escaped his learned cat-opties? Yet so it is; a society has existed, and carried on its machinations, not only in England and Ireland, but even under his very nose in Edinburgh, without his being able to smell out even its entity: and of this fact it is presumed no one will doubt who peruses what follows. This society is of the inquisitorial genus. Its principal exertion is to collect the most critical and minute particulars of the private life and actions of every individual; the incredible pains taken in acquiring this information, and the numbers of agents employed in collecting it is indeed astonishing, and is of itself a proof that the society has objects in view, of vast and momentous concern; to see what those are we have scarcely need of using the spectacles the learned professor has kindly provided for us, through them however, they become so clearly conspicuous that there is no need of enlarging on their nature. Can it be supposed that people would take such vast pains for nothing? would spend days in walking from house to house collecting intelligence, and pass nights in comparing and communicating what they have learned, merely for amusement? So laborious an occupation is not at all compatible with that love of ease, that indolence, which so strongly marks the amusements now in fashion. Nor is so childish and frivolous a termination to such labours to be ex pected from the reverend seigniors and grave matrons employed in them. If, however, men will still be so besotted to hold so ridiculous an opinion, Credat Judeus Apella, non ego. Fanatics may believe it, but not The agents of this inquisition are of various kinds, of both sexes, and of all ranks and conditions; the principal of them hold correspondence with the head society, the grand inquisitors: those, however, bear but a sinall proportion to the mass, the rest are inferior agents employed by them, but who are never intrusted with the secrets of the society, and of whom only a very few know of the existence of the society, or the purposes for which they are employed, so subtle and cautious is the conduct of this dark and secret tribunal. Many worthy and well meaning people are employed in this last rank, who little dream of what they are doing, or for whom they work, or how they are eventually undermining their own peace and happiness; and little suspect what design those have, who gather the fruits of their labours, register them, and transmit them to the grand repository. Besides the division of the agents into what may be denominated the Cognoscenti and the Ignoranti, they are also divided from their employments into inspectors and familiars. For the first occupation a clear and steady sight is requisite, and it is in country towns they are chiefly employed for their convenience, bow-windows have been contrived, and are multiplied in such places to an extent, from whence we may easily conjecture the formidable numbers engaged in this business; in those windows they sit hours together, with a patience truly fe line-thence mark and register, who walks with who, how often Mr. A. goes to the house of Miss D: how Miss C. smiled and flirted with Messrs. W. X. Y. and Z. successively, and various other such facts, which, though apparently of small moment, may be turned to account in the hands of skilful operators, as from dirt and ashes the explosive nitre is formed by the chemist to be the instrument of destructive violence. But there is another class of the inspectors still more formidable; who being exclusively of the male sex, asume a boldness which the others cannot attain, and instead of privacy and concealment, take a pride in obtruding themselves in the most conspicuous manner. These generally frequent some coffee-house or shop; where, probably as a type, of their being such good customers that they may be esteemed the supports of the house, they rear themselves in a row against the front wall, proping it up with their shoulders, like the Caryatides in ancient architecture, each with the air of an Atlas, as if he exclusively bore the whole burden on his own back. Here they carefully watch all the passengers, discuss their characters, occupations and histories; and communicate to one another every anecdote true or false respecting them which they can recollect or invent; they only leave the mangled remains of one character, to pounce on another with redoubled appetite, and sex, age, beauty, or merit, excite no feeling, and nicet no forbearance. This class is very universal, the bustle and throng of the London-streets, prevent their appearance considerably the last ten days, and why Mrs. E. weaned her last child a month sooner than usual, are objects of serious enquiry; but principally what regards the sexual affections and matrimonial arrangement is the subject of their most prying investigations; therein they exert all their talents-no pains are spared; and if in little occupations people can be great, in those are they great indeed. As their names imply, they become familiar on the slightest acquaintance, and will proceed to wonderful intimacy, if permitted, on the second or third visit. in the metropolis, nevertheless a set not visited her friend Mrs. F. for of them have contrived to establish themselves in the front of Tom's coffee house, in Cheapside, where they maintain their stand whenever the weather will permit, from day to day, and from year to year, with undismayed courage, unyielding obstinacy, and undiminished perseverance. In Dublin they are more conspicuous, and a party of them were found so very obnoxious in the entrances to the Commercial buildings, that it became necessary for the proprietors of the house to put up printed notices to prevent their meeting there, which, however, are worded with a cautious respect, that proves how well they know, and dread their power. In the country towns in England they are found in abundance, and if possible more so in those of Ireland: a band of them posted before the coffee-house on the quay in Waterford, often oblige the ladies of that city to take an inconvenient circuit rather than encounter their keen eyes, and keener tongues; and in Belfast frequent groupes of this association are to be seen in High-street, Bridge-street, and Donegall-street, watching with such zeal, that they have been known in many instances to maintain their stations beyond the hour of ten at night, when there was scarcely any one passed through the street, and darkness rendered these few almost indistinguishable. The familiars are of a more extensive occupation; as the inspectors employ the organs of sight in the service, these last use principally those of speech and hearing for the same purposes; their business is to insinuate themselves into all families and societies, there directly and indirectly to find out what every individual is engaged in, and the motives of even the most trifling action ;-to know why Mrs. C. has In large cities familiars have a more subordinate station, and are obliged to use greater caution, and take more circuitous means to effect their purposes; there their chief agents are ladies' maids and valets, and ladics of a certain description, with the exception of some ancient dowagers who preside at card-tables. easy In country towns however, they act a bolder and more open part.-There both inspectors and familiars scarcely affect any concealment : The first boldly sits in her window all day long, and the latter at once addresses you, though an utter stranger, with the most minute inquiry, at ouce assuming the air of a catechist; and with all the impudence of long practice, and the appearance of an authority, which from long use they assume a right to, will investigate every circumstance of your property and connections, your expectations and intentions; no evasion can escape them, they return to the charge with indefatigable industry, and nothing can repulse them but a flat refusal to answer, (which they have always the injustice to resent bitterly as a breach of privilege), or an entire misinformation on every subject of their inquiry; which, discovered, is also attended with no less danger. It is chiefly at tea parties where those agents of the society, both male and female exert their talents; and this with so little reserve, that short-sighted moralists have frequently noticed their proceedings on these meetings, as arising from envy, ha tred and malice, and all uncharitableness, never suspecting in the least the depth of their designs. It long puzzled me to account for their great preference to the time of using this healthful and refreshing beverage for their operations, but I am now fully convinced that the cognoscenti among them take this opportunity to convey with every cup some drops of a potent liquor or essence, which bears the same relation to wine in concentrating its heart-opening and communicating qualities (noticed by Homer and other great poets), which opium does in collecting in a small space the narcotic effects obervable in the same liquor. Whether this essence possesses something of an emetic action on the vesicula memorativa of the brain, by which it compels them to disgorge their contents, or swelling the contents themselves by its influence, gives them a sort of expansive nisus, that forces them from their former bounds, let physicians determine. For my part the fact suffices me, and of this I am fully convinced. Though great part of the labour of the familiars is spent in acquiring information as mentioned, yet their agency is not entirely confined to this object: They are also employed by their superiors in blasting reputations, undermining and opposing the honest efforts at advancement, and destroying the peace of the families of those obnoxious to them, either from motives which regard the imagined interest of the society, or from private pique. Those, whom they have no hope to induce to join them as cognoscenti or to employ as ignoranti, they are particularly severe against. It may easily be conceived that from the magazine of minute intelligence collected by them as already explained, there will be no difficulty in picking out such materials as best suit their malicious designs; and that their extensive communication, correspondence, and intercourse, furnishes them with ample means of working up the materials to any purpose of detraction or malignity. Their skill in amplifying and expanding trifling facts into crimes of momentous import is indeed astonishing. It has frequently. reminded me of what I have somewhere read of a fabled magical tent which could be folded up in the space of a cocoa-nut, to hang to a man's girdle, but when blown up would expand by the breath of the operator to any extent required, so as to cover any indefinite number.-Thus when those familiars get possession of a fact, a fact, though of a minuteness which escape into common observation, they possess a power of enlarging it to a size that surprises, and make it envelope such a number of falsehoods as appears nearly as supernatural as the expansive capaciousness of the enchanted tent. How long their mischievous talents will be confined to the above-mentioned employments is hard to conjecture; if such things can be performed by an embryo society, what may we not expect from its perfect maturity? It is dreadful to think of it: It may yet be able to reverse all order, cripple the operations of our laws, and reduce all to a shapeless anarchy and revolutionary Parisian demonisin. I believe after what I have related, there are few who read this, but must from their own observation be able to point out many of all the different kinds of inquisitorial agents mentioned among their present acquaintance, and be able to recollect many more in tines past. They may, perhaps, call to mind their attempts to put them mentally on the rack (pray heaven their attemps may always be confined to the mind) to force the greater discoveries. And now that the clue is given, but small exertion will trace out various mazes of their hidden labyrinths which the bounds of this mode of communication does not permit to expaate on as they deserve. In concluding however, let me caution innocent and well-intentioned people against the attempts of this association to reader them instrumental to their nefarious designs, and suggest the expediency of ren dering it lawful to give false and misleading answers to all unpertinent questions, at least for a season, as a means of checking and counteracting in some degree, the plots. and contrivances of this inquisitorial conspiracy. NEMS. For the Belfast Monthly Magazine. SERAPH; OR VANITY REPROVED. O, softly soothing stream! I love to steal along While thus removed afar Of thoughts that harrass life; Those cares that fill'd my breast, Are fled like fever's dream! Thou lull'st to peace and rest, O softly soothing stream! TWAS thus Captain Lancaster he rambled over his own grounds, poured forth his thoughts, as one fine evening in June. He now set himself to compose an air for his verses, determining that his daughter should sing them as soon as he ming to himself for half an hour, returned home.--While he is humamong the trees, by the side of a stream that winds through his do main, we shall take that opportu nity to give our readers some account of him. Captain Lancaster was a younger only wealth however at his first set son of a respectable family: his ting out in the world was a lieute were nant's commission. Fate too, as if determined that he should remain fall in love with a woman as poor poor, had decreed that he should as himself. This was a trying situa tion: fearful of involving the object of his affection in a life of hardship, he struggled long against matrimony; but at length, after various proofs, on both sides, of constancy, affection, and virtue, they united. For some years they bore up, and even flourished contentedly, amidst the chilling winds of poverty. Whether it was these gusts of misfortune which every year caused their hearts to cling closer together for support, or that they every year discovered in each other, more of those qualities which nature has commanded us to admire and esteem, we know not, but certain it is, their affection was constantly progressive. The second year of their union |