Page images
PDF
EPUB
[graphic]

loose manners and a turbulent disposition. But his honour was of short duration; for, as he was one night, in the time of Carnival, rambling about the streets with his guitar in his hand, he was attacked by six men masked, and opposed them with such vigour and address, that he dispersed them, and disarmed their leader, who, throwing off his mask, discovered himself to be the prince his pupil. Crichton falling on his knees, presented his own sword to the prince, who seized it, and instigated, as some say, by jealousy, according to others only by drunken fury, thrust him through the heart.

A PUN is an equivocation, a quibble, or an expression where a word has at once different meanings, and a resemblance between the sounds and syllables; as-matrimony is now become a matter-of-money; I looked for friends and found fiends; all houses are become ale-houses; my Lord Y's paradise is a pair-of-dice: but was it so in the time of Noah? Ah-no. Is Mr. Owen at home? N. O.; and so on, ad infinitum, in the republic of false wit.

Addison says, "The seeds of punning are in the minds of all men." (Spect. No. 61.) Swift wrote the Ars Pun-i-ca, sive Flos Linguarum, the Art of Punning, or Flower of Languages; with God's revenge against Punning. Specimens. I remember one day (says Swift) the major saying, that "he Would leave me the gout as a legacy; made answer, I should be sorry to have such a leg as he" which got great applause. -Query? How many animals are concerned in the formation of the English tongue ?Answer. According to Buck-anan, a great number, viz. cat-egorical, dog-matical, crow-nological, flea-botomy, fish-ognomy, squirril-ity, rat-ification, mouse-olæum, pus-ilanimity, hare-ditary, ass-tronomy, jay-ography, stag-yrite, duck-tility. Swift produces thirty-four rules in this jesuitical art, in which, by his examples, he must have bestowed considerable but worthless labour. Punning is generally execrable: but to pun upon names, which has been too much the practice with party writers, is still more so! Shenstone thanked God his name was

not liable to a pun. It is true, there are indeed many names that excite contempt, and very common ones, such as Farthing, Penny, and Twopenny, Hogsflesh, and hundreds more. To avoid these puns many have changed their names. Balzac from Guez, a beggar; Melancthon from Hertz Schwartz, black cat; Macklin from Maclaughin; and we think Praise God Barebones, president of the Rump Parliament, and leatherseller, might have changed his too, with its lean piety.

Punning seems to be as old as the creation; the Greeks and Romans sometimes indulged themselves in the practice, and used puns as ornaments in the most serious discourses; and, in a black-letter book, now

before us, printed 1580, called, the Bee-hive of the Romish Church, we see, "that a man may make a goode similitude or parable pupon the neerenesse of names in speache, which in pronunciation do sounde one like another; as the holy churche hath concluded hereupon, that Saint Clare can make dimme eyes look cleere; Saint Quintine can heale the quensie in the head; and Saint Vallentine the falling sicknesse; and Saint Etropius the dropsie: because these names (says the author) doe sound one like another. And yet (he continues) this cannot always fall out so; for then might the heretikes conclude out of the same, that curates are currs; the spiritualty, spitefaulty; bishops, very bite-sheeps; cardinals, carnals; and so on." (p. 166,)

Bishop Andrews, a divine of the seventeenth century, was a punster. Oldmixon, in the dedication to his Arts of Logic and Rhetoric,' says, that Bishop Andrews, and the most eminent divines at the beginning of the last century, reduced preaching to punning, and the eloquence of the chair to the buffoonery of the stage. He speaks of him thus:

The reverend prelate, who St. Swithin's chair
So fairly fill'd, would pun you out a prayer!
At visitation he'd instruct his sons

In sermons made of nothing else but puns; The court itself, so tickled with his chimes, Call'd him the ablest preacher of the times. could. On one of his election plates he put Hogarth always attempted punning if he 66 we must"-die all! a sun-dial: the words, how he came to turn his coat twice? He reBuck, the York comedian, was asked plied, that one good turn deserved another. House of Commons, in Ireland, a punning On the expulsion of Mr. Jones from the wag remarked, that this was not one In-1-go Jones, but Out-I-go Jones.

What, said a punster, is majesty, when deprived of the externals, (M and Y,) but a jest?

becomes wit, as thus: A dexterous change of words in a pun Manners, Earl of Rutland, telling Sir Thomas More, that torted, that it did better in English, "Honores mutant mores," the other re nours change Manners."

Ho

A critical punster is monstrum et horrendum. The reviewers of a work, called the "Attributes of Satan," 8vo. say, "But people there are, so confoundedly hardhearted, that they neither pity Buonaparte to use the words of Burns pluralized, are nor the devil; we are not of those, but,

Wae to think upon their dens,

E'en for their sakes.

So that the names of either of their residences beginning with Hel, (a curious coincidence,) are never pronounced by us without much commiseration." (Lit. Gaz. No. 69.) Here is punning wit, and puny wit, and from a critic too!!

Dr. South was a great punster. And Shakespeare was not free from this art, which is only fit to be exercised in the Gentleman's and Lady's Diaries, in their annual rebuses.

WANDERING WILLIE'S TALE.

(Continued from p. 186.)

Away rode my gudesire to his chief creditor, (him they ca'ad Laurie Lapraik,) to try if he could make onything out of him; but when he tauld his story, he got but the warst word in his wame-thief, beggar, and dyvour, were the saftest terms; and to the boot of these hard terms, Laurie brought up the auld story of his dipping his hand in the blood of God's saints, just as if a tenant could have helped riding with the Laird, and that a laird like Sir Robert Redgauntlet. My gudesire was, by this time, far beyond the bounds of patience, and, while he and Laurie were at de'il speed the liars, he was wanchancie aneugh to abuse his doctrine as weel as the man, and said things that gar'd folks flesh grew that heard them; he wasna just himsell, and he had lived wi' a wild set in his day.

At last they parted, and my gudesire was to ride hame through the wood of Pitmarkie, that is a' fou of black firs, as they say.-I ken the wood, but the firs may be black or white for what I can tell. At the entry of the wood there is a wild common, and on the edge of the common, a little lonely changehouse, that was keepit then by an ostlerwife, they suld hae ca'd her Tibbie Faw, and there puir Steenie cried for a mutchkin of brandy, for he had had no refreshment the hail day. Tibbie was earnest wi' him to take a bite of meat, but he couldna think o't, nor would he take his foot out of the stirrup, and took aff the brandy wholely at twa draughts, and named a toast at each :the first was, The memory of Sir Robert Redgauntlet, and might he never lie quiet in his grave till he had righted his poor bondtenant; and the second was, A health to Man's Enemy, if he would but get him back the pock of siller, or tell him what came o't, for he saw the hail world was like to regard him as a thief and a cheat, and he took that waur than even the ruin of his house and hauld.

On he rode, little caring where. It was a dark night turned, and the trees made it yet darker, and he let the beast take its ain road through the wood; when, all of a sudden, from tired and wearied that it was before, the nag began to spring, and flee, and stend, that my gudesire could hardly keep the saddle-Upon the whilk, a horseman, suddenly riding up beside him, said, "That's a mettle beast of yours, freend; will you sell him?"-So saying, he touched the horse's neck with his riding-wand, and it fell into its auld heigh-ho of a stumbling trot; "But his spunk's soon out of him, I think," continued the stranger, "and that is like mony a man's courage, that thinks he wad do great things till he come to the proof."

My gudesire scarce listened to this, but

spurred his horse, with "Gude e'en to you, freend."

But it's like the stranger was ane that does na lightly yield his point; for ride as Steenie liked, he was aye beside him at the self-same pace. At last my gudesire, Steenie Steenson, grew half angry; and, to say the truth, half feared.

"What is it that ye want with me, freend?" he said. "If ye be a robber, I have nae money; if ye be a leal man, wanting company, I have nae heart to mirth or speaking; and if ye want to ken the road, I scarce ken it mysell."

"If you will tell me your grief," said the stranger, "I am one that, though I have been sair misca'ad in the world, am the only hand for helping my freends."

So my gudesire, to ease his ain heart, mair than from any hope of help, told him the story from beginning to end.

"It's a hard pinch," said the stranger; "" but I think I can help you."

"If you could lend the money, sir, and take a lang day I ken nae other help on earth," said my gudesire.

"But there may be some under the earth," said the stranger. "Come, I'll be frank wi', you; I could lend you the money on bond, but you would maybe scruple my terms. Now, I can tell you, that your auld Laird is disturbed in his grave by your curses, and the wailing of your family, and-if ye daur venture to go to see him, he will give you the receipt."

My gudesire's hair stood on end at this proposal, but he thought his companion might be some humoursome chield that was trying to frighten him, and might end with lending him the money. Besides, he was bauld wi' brandy, and desperate wi' distress; and he said, he had courage to go to the gate of hell, and a step further, for that receipt. The stranger laughed.

Weel, they rode on through the thickest of the wood, when, all of a sudden, the horse stopped at the door of a great house; and, but that he knew the place was ten miles off, my father would have thought he was at Redgauntlet Castle. They rode into the outer court-yard, through the muckle faulding yetts, and aneath the auld portcullis; and the whole front of the house was lighted, and there were pipes and fiddles, and as much dancing and deray within as used to be in Sir Robert's house at Pace and Yule, and such high seasons. They lap off, and my gudesire, as it seemed to him, fastened his horse to the very ring he had tied him to that morning, when he gaed to wait on the young Sir John.

"God!" said my father, "if Sir Robert's death be but a dream!

He knocked at the ha' door, just as he wont, and his auld acquaintance, Dougal MacCallum, just after his wont, too,-came to open the door, and said, “ Piper Steenie, are ye there, lad? Sir Robert has been crying for you."

My gudesire was like a man in a dream— he looked for the stranger, but he was gaen for the time. At last, he just tried to say, "Ha! Dougal Driveower, are ye living? I thought ye had been dead.”

66

"Never fash yoursell wi' me," said Dougal, but look to yoursell; and see ye tak naething frae onybody here, neither meat, drink, or siller, except just the receipt that is your ain."

So saying, he led the way out through halls and trances that were weel kenn'd to my gudesire, and into the auld oak parlour; and there was as much singing of profane sangs, and birling of red wine, and speaking blasphemy and sculduddry, as had ever been in Redgauntlet Castle when it was at the blythest.

[ocr errors]

But, Lord take us in keeping! what a set of ghastly revellers they were that sat round that table!-My gudesire kenn'd mony that had lang before gane to their place. There was the fierce Middleton, and dissolute Rothes, and the crafty Lauderdale; and Dalyell, with his bald head and a beard to his girdle; and Earlshall, with Cameron's blude on his hand; and wild Bonshaw, that tied blessed Mr. Cargill's limbs till the blude sprang; and Dumbarton Douglas, the twiceturned traitor baith to country and king. There was the Bluidy Advocate MacKenyie, who, for his worldly wit and wisdom, had been to the rest as a god. And there was Claverhouse, as beautiful as when he lived, with his long, dark, curled locks, streaming down to his laced buff-coat, and his left hand always on his right spule-blade, to hide the wound that the silver bullet had made. He sat apart from them all, and looked at them with a melancholy, haughty countenance; while the rest hallooed, and sung, and laughed, that the room rang. But their smiles were fearfully contorted from time to time; and their laughter passed into such wild sounds, as made my gudesire's very nails grow blue, and chilled the marrow in his banes.

They that waited at the table were just the wicked serving-men and troopers, that had done their work and wicked bidding on earth. There was the Lang Lad of the Nethertown, that helped to take Argyle; and the Bishop's summoner, that they called the De'il's Rattle-bag; and the wicked guardsmen, in their laced coats; and the savage Highland Amorites, that shed blood like water; and many a proud serving-man, haughty of heart and bloody of hand, cring ing to the rich, and making them wickeder than they would be; grinding the poor to powder, when the rich had broken them to fragments. And mony, mony mair were coming and ganging, a' as busy in their vocation as if they had been alive.

Sir Robert Redgauntlet, in the midst of a' this fearful riot, cried, wi' a voice like thunder, on Steenie Piper, to come to the board head where he was sitting; his legs stretched out before him, and swathed up

with flannel, with his holster pistols aside him, and the great broad-sword rested against his chair, just as my gudesire had seen him the last time upon earth-the very cushion for the jack-an-ape was close to him, but the creature itsell was not thereit wasna its hour, it's likely; for he heard them say as he came forward, "Is not the Major come yet? "And another answered, "The jack-an-ape will be here betimes the morn." And when my gudesire came forward, Sir Robert, or his ghaist, or the deevil in his likeness, said, "Weel, piper, hae ye settled wi' my son for the year's rent?

[ocr errors]

With much ado my father got breath to say, that Sir John would not settle without his honour's receipt.

"Ye shall hae that for a tune of the pipes, Steenie," said the appearance of Sir Robert "Play us up "Weel hoddled, Luckie."

Now this was a tune my gudesire learned frae a warlock, that heard it when they were worshipping Satan at their meetings; and my gudesire had sometimes played it at the ranting suppers in Redgauntlet Castle, but never very willingly; and now he grew cauld at the very name of it, and said, for excuse, he hadna his pipes wi' him.

"MacCallum, ye limb of Beelzebub," said the fearfu' Sir Robert, " bring Steenie the pipes that I am keeping for him!"

MacCallum brought a pair of pipes might have served the piper of Donald of the Isles. But he gave my gudesire a nudge as he offered them; and looking secretly and closely, Steenie saw that the chanter was of steel, and heated to a white heat; so he had fair warning not to trust his fingers with it. So he excused himself again, and said, he was faint and frightened, and had ̧ not wind enough to fill the bag.

"Then ye maun eat and drink, Steenie," said the figure; for we do little else here; and it's ill speaking between a fou man and a fasting."

Now these were the very words that the bloody Earl of Douglas said to keep the King's messenger in hand, while he cut the head off MacLellan of Bombie, at the Threave Castle; and that put Steenie mair and mair on his guard. So he spoke up like a man, and said he came neither to eat, or drink, or make minstrelsy; but simply for his ain-to ken what was come o' the money he had paid, and to get a discharge for it; and he was so stout-hearted by this time, that he charged Sir Robert for conscience-sake-(he had no power to say the holy name)—and as he hoped for peace and rest, to spread no snares for him, but just to give him his ain.

The appearance gnashed its teeth and laughed, but it took from a large pocket book the receipt, and handed it to Steenie. "Here is your receipt, ye pitiful cur; and for the money, my dogwhelp of a son may go look for it in the Cat's Cradle."

(To be concluded in our next.)

[merged small][graphic]

place at the Freemasons' Tavern, for the purpose of erecting, by subscription, this monument in either of the churches of St. Paul's, or St. Peter's, Westminster:

MONUMENT TO JAMES WATT. OUR reasons for giving the masterly engraving from the celebrated monument to the above individual, are, first, that we may be able to pay a faint tribute to that right arm of British commerce and manufacture-that great source of British wealth-that father of British mechanics, the original; secondly, to afford a memento of one of the finest specimens of sculptor this country can boast of; and, lastly, out of regard to the embellishment itself, which we feel assured is worthy of this distinction, as its design and execution must rank it here eminently above the attempts of the most successful of our contemporaries. While on this subject, we think we cannot do better than insert the following account of the Meeting that took

The Earl of Liverpool being called to the chair, commenced the business of the meeting by, calling its attention to the great services Mr. Watt had rendered his country. His Lordship concluded by announcing that his Majesty wished to take the lead in this tribute to the memory of a man who had raised himself from the rank of an humble mathematical instrument maker, at Glasgow, to the highest fame, as well as to wealth, by subscribing five hundred pounds. Sir Humphry Davy, P.R.S., proposed the first resolution:That the late James

Watt, Esq. by the profound science and original genius displayed in his admirable inventions, has, more than any other man of modern times, exemplified the practical utility of knowledge, enlarged the power of man over the external world, and both multiplied and diffused the accommodations and enjoyments of human life.' Mr. Bolton, son of the partner of Mr. Watt, at Soho, next addressed the meeting, and was followed by Mr. Huskisson, who moved, as the second resolution: That these benefits, conferred by Mr. Watt on the whole civilized world, have been first and most experienced by his own country, which owes a tribute of national gratitude to a man who has thus honoured her by his genius, and promoted her well-being by his discoveries.' This resolution was seconded by Sir James Mackintosh, who, in an eloquent speech, happily quoted the account of that imaginary temple which Bacon, in one of his tracts, dedicates to science, and setting a gallery apart for the statues of inventors; he also quoted another observation from the same great writer, in which he observes that, while the Heathens classed heroes and founders of states amongst their demi-gods, they ranked inventors of arts among their gods. The honourable gentleman, in the course of his speech, passed a high, but deserved eulogium on the attention which was made to the lectures at the Mechanics' Institution, by the members.-Mr. Brougham alluded to the same subject, and concluded a speech which was a new version of that of the Earl of Liverpool (which it is justice to say he had not heard), by moving :- That a monument be erected to his memory, either in the Cathedral Church of St. Paul's, or in the Collegiate Church of St Peter's, Westminster; and that a subscription for that purpose be forthwith opened.'-Nothing, however, transpired at the meeting half so gratifying as the speech of Mr. Peel, the secretary of state for the home department:- Justice,' said he, as far as human nature can do justice, has been done to the merits of Mr. Watt by the noble earl and those who have followed him in addressing the meeting: I, however, stand on different grounds, and owe a debt of gratitude to Mr. Watt, which distinguishes me from them. I am one of those numberless persons who have derived a direct personal benefit from his inventions -indeed, I owe all I possess in the world to the honest industry of others; and base and worthless must that mind be, and cold his heart, who, ou such an occasion as this, hesitated to acknowledge his origin and the debt he owes with any other feeling than that of gratitude.' This allusion to the cotton manufacture, which had received new life and spirit from the discovery of Mr. Watt, and to which the family of Mr. Peel owes its rise, was received with loud cheers. -Thanks being voted to the chairman, liberal subscription was entered into, to which the Earl of Liverpool gave 1007, when the meeting separated.

a

MR. LOWRY, THE ENGRAVER. THE friends of science and the arts will be grieved to learn that this celebrated artist died on Thursday the 24th ult. The mechanical part of the art of engraving owes more to Mr. Lowry than to any other of the celebrated artists of which England can boast, or to all of them united. Indeed, he may be considered as the father of the art. He was of an affable and obliging temper, and ever ready to give aid in the line of his profession to the younger artists; but his acquirements were not confined to the art alone; he was eminently skilled in all the branches of science; and in mineralogy, in particular, he had but few equals.

ANECDOTES OF CELEBRATED
WOMEN.-No. 1.

ATHENAIS.

THE story of Athenais, a Greek, of obscure rank, whose beauty and talents raised her to an imperial throne, would wear the appearance of romance, had not its authenticity been established by historical record. Athenais, the daughter of Leontius, an Athenian, was born about the year 393 of the Christian era, and educated by her father in the sciences, philosophy, and mythology of the Greeks. Her progress in every branch of learning was uncommon, and rapid. As she advanced towards maturity, her talents and endowments added to the charms of youth and beauty, attracted the attention, and commanded the homage of her countrymen. Her father, proud of the charms and attainments of his daughter, and exulting in the admiration they excited, persuaded himself that the merit of Athenais would prove a sufficient dowry. With this conviction, he divided his estate between his sons, bequeathing to his daughter only a small legacy.

Less sanguine in the power of her charms, the fair Greek was shocked at this disposition of her father's fortune, and appealing from his will, to the equity and affection of her brothers, she besought them to do her justice. Her brothers listened with coldness to her remonstrances; avarice stifled in their hearts the voice of nature and justice, and drove her from the parental roof. Athenais sought shelter with her aunts, who received her with kindness and sympathy, and commenced, in the cause of their niece, a legal process against her brothers. Athenais was, in the progress of this suit, conducted by her aunts to Constantinople. Theodosius II. who at this time held the imperial sceptre, divided with his sister Pulcheria, the cares of empire. To this princess she preferred her complaint, and demanded justice. Pulcheria having questioned the young Greek respecting the particulars of her cause, her family, her educa tion, and her deceased father, was charmed by the propriety and modesty of her replies, and the eloquence with which she related

« PreviousContinue »