the answer of the Baronet was, "Poh! your father was a butcher." Well, rejoined the landlord, there is no great difference between your father and mine, for if my father killed calves, yours brought them up." This sally highly gratified the company; but the dull old Baronet, insensible of the joke, vehemently exclaimed, "What! do you make my father a grazier?" This anecdote used to be related by the celebrated Dr. Moncey, of Chelsea Hospital, who practise das a physician at the time in Norfolk, and who was present on the occasion.

THE STRAY WIG.

While Lord Coalstoun lived in a house in the Advocates' Close, Edinburgh, a strange accident one morning befel him. It was at that time the custom of Advocates and Judges to dress themselves in gowns and wigs, and cravats, at their own houses, and walk to the Parliament House, They usually breakfasted early, and, when dressed, were in the habit of leaning over their parlour windows, for a few minutes before St. Giles' bell started the sounding peal of a quarter to nine, enjoying the agreeable morning air, and perhaps discussing the news of the day. It so happened that one morning, while Lord Coalstoun was preparing to enjoy his matutinal treat, two girls, who lived in the second flat above, were amusing themselves with a kitten, which, in thoughtless sport, they had swung over the window, by a cord tied round its middle and hoisted for some time up and down, till the creature was getting rather desperate with its exertions. In this crisis his Lordship had just popped his head out of the window directly below that from which the kitten swung, little suspecting, good easy man, what a

danger impended, like the sword of Dionysius, over his head, when down came the exasperated animal at full career, directly upon his senatorial wig. No sooner did the girls see what sort of landing-place their kitten had found, than in terror or surprise they began to draw it up; but this measure was now too late, for along with the animal, up also came the Judge's wig, fixed full in its determined talons. His Lordship's surprise, on finding his wig lifted off his head, was ten thousand times redoubled, when, on looking up, he perceived it dangling its way upwards, without any means visible to him, by which its motion might be accounted for. The astonishment, the dread, the almost awe of the senator belowthe half mirth, half terror, of the girls above - together with the fierce and retentive energy of puss between--altogether formed a scene to which language cannot do justice, but which George Cruikshank might perhaps embody with considerable effect. It was a joke soon explained and pardoned; but assuredly the perpetrators of it did afterwards get many a lenthened injunction from their parents, never again to fish over the window with such a bait, for honest men's wigs.

A CURIOUS COINCIDENCE.

It is curious that the two most celebrated writers modern Europe produce, Shakspear and Cervantes, both died on the same day, in the same year, - namely, April 23d, 1616.

LEGAL WIT.

A barister observed to a learned brother in court the other day, that the wearing of whiskers was unprofessional. - " Right," replied his friend, " a lawyer cannot be too bare-faced."

"GO ON." "SO WE DID."
THE LATE HON. H, ERSKINE.

Among the first briefs the late Hon. Henry Erskine was entrusted with at the Scotch bar, was one of a defendant in a case of crim. con, After opening and proceeding in the defence for a considerable time, in his usual eloquent and easy style, to a court composed of one old liquorish Sessional Lord, he suddenly dropped into the following curious appeal, as a winding up:--" My lord, we are amorous, vigorous, and young; we had retired to bed, and were dreaming of dear love's delights; the bedchamber door, my lord, being unlocked, as is usual with us; in the midst of our sweet and pleasing reverie, between awake and asleep, as if by enchantment, we beheld a spirit-a woman as angel fair-trip up, with a fairy step, to our bed-side. 'Grace was in her steps, Heaven in her eye, in all her gestures dignity and love.' This lovely creature, my lord, o'er whom twenty springs had not yet shed their vernal bloom, standing before us, my lord, in all the luxuriant ripeness of voluptuous youth, we must have been more or less than man-if we could, my lord, have sat up in our bed at such a trying moment, and only stared at so sweet a portion of nature's frailty. My lord, consider-could vigorous youth-nay (with a peculiar turn of his eye towards the bench), could healthy old agecould flesh and blood withstand so great a temptation?" Here he

a

I

forests of South America without either shoes or stockings, a mode of travelling which he recommends to future travellers, there is the following relation :- " I observed young coulacanara about ten feet long slowly moving onwards. saw he was not thick enough to break my arm in case he twisted round it. There was not a moment to be lost. I laid hold of his tail with my left hand, one knee being on the ground: with my right I took off my hat and held it as you would hold a shield for defence. The snake instantly turned and came on at me, with his head about a yard from the ground, as if to ask me what business I had to take liberties with his tail. I let him come hissing and open-mouthed within two feet of my face, and then, with all the force I was master of, I drove my fist, shielded with my hat, full in his jaws. He was first stunned and confounded by the blow, and ere he could recover himself, I had seized him by the throat with both hands, in such a position that he could not bite me. I then allowed him to coil himself round my body, and marched off with him as my lawful prize."

A NEW METAL.

It is stated in the Bath paper that a great quantity of base silver is in circulation. Query, what metal is this?

FRENCH CLEANLINESS.

M. Dubois tells us, that in se

with a good-natured Mr. Erskine, go on." Erskine gravely replied, "So we did, my lord; and here we now await your lordship's favourable judgment, for having done so.

CATCHING A SNAKE.

In the recent travels of Waterton, who perambulated the thorny

never wash themselves, and they wear their clothes till they fall to pieces. But in France, how many

of our peasantry who from father

to son have not been washed since the deluge! How many of them never quit their clothes till their clothes tumble from them!-Journal des Debats.

PRUDENTIAL CONSIDERATIONS.

A minister went the other day to a curate of a parish near Lewes, and offered to perform the service for him on the ensuing Sunday. The curate flatly refused his consent. The minister, surprised at his refusal, asked his reason. "Why, I'll tell you," said the curate; " if you preach better than I do, my parishioners will think I never ought to get into a pulpit again; and if you preach worse, I'm sure you never ought to enter one yourself."

A CHEAP HUSBAND.

5thly. The contrivance by which the carriage may be retarded at pleasure, on descending hills, acts independently of the wheels-so that the sliding and cutting effect of the ordinary drags is en

MATRIMONY.

A young lady, with a fortune of 50,000 francs, offers her hand (by advertisement) to any young gentleman who sings well, takes no snuff, is addicted to the domestic virtues, and has a fortune equal to her own! All these desiderata being present, she is not particular as to personal beauty!

MR. GURNEY'S STEAM CARRIAGE. The following testimony to the powers of Mr. Gurney's steam-carriage have been published by Mr. Herepath, the mathematician, of Cranford:-

1st. It can be stopped dead within the space of two yards, though going at the rate of from 18 to 20 miles an hourand this without any inconvenient shock to the machinery or the passengers.

2ndly. It is capable of dragging a earriage weighing three tons and con

AIR PLANT.

There grows in Cochin China, and also in some part of China, a plant which lives entirely in the air. The calyx is small, oval, and contains a single flower. The corolla has five equal petals. The nectary is enclosed by two horizontal petals, the lowest of which is oblong, fleshy, concave and boat-shaped: it is covered by the superior petal, which on one side is folded in the form of a tube; while on the other it is extended horizontally. The stamens are two short elastic filaments fastened to the internal extremity of the inferior leaf of the nectary. The anthers are flat, simple and reflex. The pistil consists of a tringular

stem, slightly inflicted. The flower is yellow, larger than that of jasmine, and of agreeable odour. The root is composed of knotted bulbs. This plant is found in woods, suspended from the branches of trees. When cut away and suspended by a cord, or in any other manner, it continues to vegetate, though slowly, and flowers every autumn. It multiplies, by annually producing new filaments, which take root, and though separated from the mother-plant, continues to vegetate and flourish.

It appears that the season has not been more favourable in France than it has here. We are told that in Paris, the cards for the fashionable réunions at present indicate that there will be a fire; and it is said, that at Plombieres, the sun has been seen only twice during twentyfour days.

BONAPARTE AND CHARLES FOX.

One day when Bonaparte, in one of his frequent fits of ill-humour, was expressing his contempt of the whole human race, I observed to him, that if the gew-gaws of state excited the admiration of the vulgar, there were some men who were above being dazzled by them; and I mentioned, as an example, the celebrated Charles Fox, who, anticipating the conclusion of the peace of Amiens, had come to Paris, where he was remarkable for his extreme simplicity of manners and appearance. " You are right," said the First Consul, " Fox is a truly great

man."

Bonaparte was always delighted to see Fox; and whenever he had an interview with him, he never failed to tell me of the pleasure he enjoyed in conversing with. the great English statesman, who, he said, was truly worthy of his high celebrity. He regarded him as a man of the very highest order, and ardently wished to treat with him in his subsequent relations with England. It may be presumed that Mr. Fox, on his part, did not forget the friendly relations he had maintained with the First Consul. Indeed, on several occasions, even in time of war, he warned Napoleon of the plots that were formed against his life. Nothing less could be expected from his noble and generous character.

GRAMMATICAL SMOKING.

(From a New York Paper.)

As smoking is an innocent indulgence, and as it is customary with people of all classes to relate the news of the day with cigars in their mouths; and as the generality of smokers make an awkward appearance, in consequence of their ignorance of the theory of punctuation in smoking, the following system is recommended:

A simple puff serves for a comma;
Puff, puff, a semicolon;
Puff, puff, puff, a colon;

Six puffs, a period.

A pause, with a cigar kept in the mouth, represents a dash, longer or shorter in continuance.

For an interrogation, it is only necessary to open the lips and draw the cigar round the corner of the mouth.

Taking the cigar from the mouth, and shaking the ashes from the end, is the conclusion of a paragraph.

And throwing it in the fire is a final and stylish pause.

Never begin a story with a halfsmoked cigar; for to light another while conversing, is not only a breach of politeness, but interferes with the above system of punctuation, and destroys all harmony of expression.

Driginal Poetry.

With the under lip raise the cigar almost against the nose, for an exclamation. And to express great emotion,